Intelligent Intoxication

Why You Need Imagine IF People

Jamie Gruber, an entrepreneur and host of the Tribe of Millionaires podcast, shared (and I paraphrase) that in order to grow into a new, expanded version of yourself, you must know the difference between “Remember When” people/relationships vs. “Imagine When/If” relationships… the former will keep you stuck in a comfort zone doing what you’ve always done, while the latter will inspire you to expand into a new possibility for you. 
It's F*cking Spiritual Podcast with guest Jamie Gruber
 
I invite you to consider these questions:
Which of your “Remember When” relationships are contributing to you  feeling stuck?
 
What “Imagine If” relationships do you need to move forward:
Coach?
Mentor?
Counselor?
Something else?
If you’re ready to expand into a version of you who is willing to do the right “hard” things in  order to create what you really want, please email or DM me. 
 
Thank you for investing your valuable time and energy into listening to the podcast. I’m so very grateful for you. 
 
If you enjoyed this episode, you can “tip the bartender” by rating and reviewing the podcast. Your review makes it easier for others to find the podcast. 
 
Don’t forget to hit the SUBSCRIBE button to be notified any time I pour out a new episode. 
 
My new book Intentional Intoxication: How To Deliberately Distill The Different Life You Desire, is available on Amazon. You can imbibe on the entire book in one, short, intentionally happier hour:
Intentional Intoxication Book
 
If you’re interested to know about how I can support you in overcoming the habit of escaping or chasing, I invite you to reach out to me by using the email below and we find a time to chat:
terribradwaylifecoaching@coachbradway.com
 
For a quick shot of your life’s current level of intoxication, I invite you to complete the 10 Questions on my Intoxication Inventory:
Intoxication Inventory

Why You're So Resentful

“Resentment is the feeling of frustration, judgment, anger, “better than,” and/or hidden envy related to perceived unfairness or injustice. It’s an emotion that we often experience when we fail to set boundaries or ask for what we need, or when expectations let us down because they were based on things we can’t control, like what other people think, what they feel, or how they’re going to react.”
 
“While resentment is definitely an emotion, I normally recognize it by a familiar thought pattern: What mean and critical thing am I rehearsing saying to this person?”
 
Atlas of the Heart/Brene Brown
 
When you notice feeling resentment, I invite you to get curious about these questions:
What mean/critical thing am I imagining saying?
What is it really important for me not to be perceived as?
What do I need that I haven’t been willing to ask for or allow myself to have or experience?
What prevents me from creating and communicating boundaries?
Which of my expectations for myself or for others no longer serve me?
If you need help processing any strong emotions, creating and communicating boundaries, or discerning and getting what you really want or need, please email or DM me. 
 
Thank you for investing your valuable time and energy into listening to the podcast. I’m so very grateful for you. 
 
If you enjoyed this episode, you can “tip the bartender” by rating and reviewing the podcast. Your review makes it easier for others to find the podcast. 
 
Don’t forget to hit the SUBSCRIBE button to be notified any time I pour out a new episode. 
 
My new book Intentional Intoxication: How To Deliberately Distill The Different Life You Desire, is available on Amazon. You can imbibe on the entire book in one, short, intentionally happier hour:
Intentional Intoxication Book
 
If you’re interested to know about how I can support you in overcoming the habit of escaping or chasing, I invite you to reach out to me by using the email below and we find a time to chat:
terribradwaylifecoaching@coachbradway.com
 
For a quick shot of your life’s current level of intoxication, I invite you to complete the 10 Questions on my Intoxication Inventory:
Intoxication Inventory

Real Authenticity/Creating Safety

Authenticity has two parts:
Part 1: Knowing who you are, what you value, what you want  and don’t want AND having the courage to live that way. 
Part 2: Paying attention to what your body needs in order to feel safe. 
My brilliant colleague, Sally Hardie offered these powerful lessons (and I paraphrase):
“You can’t think your way over the top of your emotions.”
“Authenticity is paying attention to what your body is telling you and honoring what it says by giving it what it needs to feel safe.”
I invite you to consider these questions:
How willing are you to pay attention to and honor what your body is telling you?
How does your body tell you that you want something? That you don’t?
What do you notice in your body when you don’t feel safe?
What age of me is triggered?
What does my body need?
If you need help honoring what your body is telling you, please email or DM me. 
 
Thank you for investing your valuable time and energy into listening to the podcast. I’m so very grateful for you. 
 
If you enjoyed this episode, you can “tip the bartender” by rating and reviewing the podcast. Your review makes it easier for others to find the podcast. 
 
Don’t forget to hit the SUBSCRIBE button to be notified any time I pour out a new episode. 
 
My new book Intentional Intoxication: How To Deliberately Distill The Different Life You Desire, is available on Amazon. You can imbibe on the entire book in one, short, intentionally happier hour:
Intentional Intoxication Book
 
If you’re interested to know about how I can support you in overcoming the habit of escaping or chasing, I invite you to reach out to me by using the email below and we find a time to chat:
terribradwaylifecoaching@coachbradway.com
 
For a quick shot of your life’s current level of intoxication, I invite you to complete the 10 Questions on my Intoxication Inventory:
Intoxication Inventory

Real Authenticity/Who You Really Are

Authenticity has two parts:
Part 1: Knowing who you are, what you value, what you want  and don’t want AND having the courage to live that way. 
Part 2: Paying attention to what your body needs in order to feel safe. 
I invite you to consider these questions:
Who are you really?
What do you like?
What do you love?
What do I intentionally want? What don’t I?
What are my gifts?
What are my talents?
My strengths? Weaknesses?
What are my intentions for doing what I do?
What do I need?
If you need help knowing and being who you really are, please email or DM me. 
Thank you for investing your valuable time and energy into listening to the podcast. I’m so very grateful for you. 
 
If you enjoyed this episode, you can “tip the bartender” by rating and reviewing the podcast. Your review makes it easier for others to find the podcast. 
 
Don’t forget to hit the SUBSCRIBE button to be notified any time I pour out a new episode. 
 
My new book Intentional Intoxication: How To Deliberately Distill The Different Life You Desire, is available on Amazon. You can imbibe on the entire book in one, short, intentionally happier hour:
Intentional Intoxication Book
 
If you’re interested to know about how I can support you in overcoming the habit of escaping or chasing, I invite you to reach out to me by using the email below and we find a time to chat:
terribradwaylifecoaching@coachbradway.com
 
For a quick shot of your life’s current level of intoxication, I invite you to complete the 10 Questions on my Intoxication Inventory:
Intoxication Inventory

Healthy Boundaries WILL Cost You

Having healthy boundaries will both COST and BENEFIT you. 
Having healthy boundaries will COST you:
the ability to people-please or approval-seek
the luxury expecting others to make assumptions about your needs or wants
the ability to run away from “big girl” or “big boy” conversations
the ability to play the Martyr or Victim in your relationships
unhealthy or immature relationships
These are BENEFITS of having healthy boundaries:
getting to take ownership of what you want and creating
knowing where you end and where someone else begins - you will no longer be emotionally enmeshed with others
getting to be truly authentic with others
to love and be loved unconditionally
If you need help creating and communicating boundaries, please email or DM me. 
 
Thank you for investing your valuable time and energy into listening to the podcast. I’m so very grateful for you. 
 
If you enjoyed this episode, you can “tip the bartender” by rating and reviewing the podcast. Your review makes it easier for others to find the podcast. 
 
Don’t forget to hit the SUBSCRIBE button to be notified any time I pour out a new episode. 
 
My new book Intentional Intoxication: How To Deliberately Distill The Different Life You Desire, is available on Amazon. You can imbibe on the entire book in one, short, intentionally happier hour:
Intentional Intoxication Book
 
If you’re interested to know about how I can support you in overcoming the habit of escaping or chasing, I invite you to reach out to me by using the email below and we find a time to chat:
terribradwaylifecoaching@coachbradway.com
 
For a quick shot of your life’s current level of intoxication, I invite you to complete the 10 Questions on my Intoxication Inventory:
Intoxication Inventory

Boundaries Are Not A Bitchslap

Tonight we’re diving into all things boundaries - specifically:
what boundaries are NOT
what boundaries ARE
the emotion that lets you  know that you need to create or communicate a boundary. 
Boundaries are NOT:
using words or actions to control, manipulate, threaten or punish others. 
righteous rules
rigid standards
Boundaries ARE a combination of:
REQUESTS: based on your values, you need something. (I value emotionally mature conversations.) “I’d appreciate it if we can discuss this calmly and respectfully.”
RESPONSES: what you will do/not do if the other person is unwilling (they won’t) or incapable of (they can’t) meet your request. “If you continue to yell and raise your voice, I’ll leave the conversation and remove myself from the room.”
RESENTMENT will alert you to the fact that you need to create and communicate a boundary. Resentment pops up when one of our core values is not being honored. 
If you’re feeling resentful in a relationship, you may be believing something along the lines of:
“I’m being mistreated.”
“I’ve been taken advantage of.”
“They’ve wronged me.”
“He/she puts me down.”
“They should or shouldn’t… “
“I didn’t get what I wanted.”
“I got what I didn’t want.”
RESENTMENT may show up as:
anger
disappointment
bitterness
rejection
frustration
uneasiness
regret
remorse
righteousness
Inadequacy
Your RESENTMENT may fuel actions like:
unwillingness to forgive
blaming and complaining
spinning in negative thoughts
avoiding situations or people
passive-aggressive behavior
lashing out or reacting
Eventually, these resentment-driven actions may result in:
broken relationships
self-blame or shame
grudges
bottled anger
poor mental health
emotional reactivity
revenge
Key Takeways:
Boundaries aren’t aggressive attacks.
Boundaries are respectful, clear requests.
Boundaries allow you to have 100% control over your response.
Resentment may alert you to the need to create/communicate a boundary. 
If you need help creating and communicating boundaries, please email or DM me. . 
 
Thank you for investing your valuable time and energy into listening to the podcast. I’m so very grateful for you. 
 
If you enjoyed this episode, you can “tip the bartender” by rating and reviewing the podcast. Your review makes it easier for others to find the podcast. 
 
Don’t forget to hit the SUBSCRIBE button to be notified any time I pour out a new episode. 
 
My new book Intentional Intoxication: How To Deliberately Distill The Different Life You Desire, is available on Amazon. You can imbibe on the entire book in one, short, intentionally happier hour:
Intentional Intoxication Book
 
If you’re interested to know about how I can support you in overcoming the habit of escaping or chasing, I invite you to reach out to me by using the email below and we find a time to chat:
terribradwaylifecoaching@coachbradway.com
 
For a quick shot of your life’s current level of intoxication, I invite you to complete the 10 Questions on my Intoxication Inventory:
Intoxication Inventory

When You're Drowning As A Caregiver

If you are a CAREGIVER, you are likely responding to the needs of someone who is not fully independent, such as a child or an individual with an illness, disability, or disorder. You are providing necessary support to someone who cannot care for themselves. 
But, if you are not also taking care of and supporting yourself, you will begin to “flail” or “drown”. 
If you’re beginning to “flail”, you may notice that:
your stress levels are becoming intolerable
you’re getting increasingly agitated, irritated, or frustrated
you feel revved up or jittery
your body feels heavy, tight, constricted, or uncomfortable
you’re spacing out
you’re escaping the present moment
When you’re no longer flailing yet beginning to “drown”, you may notice that:
your stress levels are intolerable
you feel reactive
you feel chronically exhausted, depleted, and drained
you’re anxious, angry, or even enraged
you’re saying things you regret later
you feel trapped and out of control
As a Caregiver, I encourage you to KEEP:
loving and wanting to help and support other people
loving and supporting yourself
As a Caregiver, I encourage you to STOP:
trying to do the work of a trained professional like a counselor, therapist, doctor, nurse, or coach
feeling guilty or selfish when you’re past your mental, emotional, or physical capacity
anticipating or assuming needs
helping others in order to get attention, approval, or validation
Ignoring the symptoms of stress in your body
As a Caregiver, I encourage you to START:
asking yourself several times daily - “What do I need?”Do I need:silence?
solitude
stillness?
time outside?
water?
food?
more sleep?
rest?
space?
exercise?
to breathe?
to write my thoughts on paper?
to talk to someone?
permission to play?
ask someone to help me?
hire out some of the care?
to go someplace else for a few hours?
Key Takeways:
When caregivinig is at your own expense, it is self-sacrifice. 
Self-care is not selfish. 
You can only do what you can only do given how emotionally, mentally, or physically resourced you currently are. 
If you need help, please email or DM me. I can help you take care of yourself AS you give care to others. 
Thank you for investing your valuable time and energy into listening to the podcast. I’m so very grateful for you. 
If you enjoyed this episode, you can “tip the bartender” by rating and reviewing the podcast. Your review makes it easier for others to find the podcast. 
Don’t forget to hit the SUBSCRIBE button to be notified any time I pour out a new episode. 
 
My new book Intentional Intoxication: How To Deliberately Distill The Different Life You Desire, is available on Amazon. You can imbibe on the entire book in one, short, intentionally happier hour:
Intentional Intoxication Book
 
If you’re interested to know about how I can support you in overcoming the habit of escaping or chasing, I invite you to reach out to me by using the email below and we find a time to chat:
terribradwaylifecoaching@coachbradway.com
 
For a quick shot of your life’s current level of intoxication, I invite you to complete the 10 Questions on my Intoxication Inventory:
Intoxication Inventory

Why You Don't Have Peace

If you’re struggling to make progress toward results and outcomes you really are committed to achieving, I invite you to consider this question:
“Am I at peace with BLANK?”
For example - “Am I at peace with:
… my body and/or weight?”
… my food and/or drink?”
… my relationships?”
… my career or job?”
… my parenting or children?”
… my finances?”
… something else?”
If you answer NO, it’s likely because “part of you” isn’t cooperating with your most authentic self. 
In her best-selling book, Rezoom: The Powerful Reframe To End The Crash-And-Burn Cycle of Food Addiction, author and teacher Susan Pierce Thompson, highlights “Parts Work”:
“... it’s necessary to recognize and address the parts of ourselves that have led us to our old ways… in Parts Work, we learn which parts are directing our thinking and behavior so we can recognize them when they’re taking over… “
Thompson categories the parts as:
Indulger
Controller
Rebel
Caretaker
Isolator
Inner Critic
If this interests you, I invite you to learn about these parts and how they may be sabotaging your best efforts to make progress:
Thompson's Parts Work
Rezoom Book
To learn more about IFS (Internal Family Systems), check out this resource:
Internal Family Systems
Internal Family Systems Book
 
Thank you for investing your valuable time and energy into listening to the podcast. I’m so very grateful for you. 
If you enjoyed this episode, you can “tip the bartender” by rating and reviewing the podcast. Your review makes it easier for others to find the podcast. 
Don’t forget to hit the SUBSCRIBE button to be notified any time I pour out a new episode. 
 
My new book Intentional Intoxication: How To Deliberately Distill The Different Life You Desire, is available on Amazon. You can imbibe on the entire book in one, short, intentionally happier hour:
Intentional Intoxication Book
 
If you’re interested to know about how I can support you in overcoming the habit of escaping or chasing, I invite you to reach out to me by using the email below and we find a time to chat:
terribradwaylifecoaching@coachbradway.com
 
For a quick shot of your life’s current level of intoxication, I invite you to complete the 10 Questions on my Intoxication Inventory:
Intoxication Inventory

How To Offer The Right Help

We all make the mistake of trying to “help” those we care about by:
swooping in rescuing them
solving their problems
giving them advice
teaching them
cheering them on
attempting to distract them
But what really helps, is discerning the role they need or want us to play in the moment. 
Ask them:
“Do you want me to show up for you as a LISTENER, COACH, TEACHER, or CONSULTANT?
If they need a LISTENER, remain quiet and simply listen to their words. If appropriate, repeat their words back to them:
“It sounds like you’re feeling BLANK… is that true?”
If they need a COACH, your job is to ask questions. For example:
“What do you need to feel supported and safe?”
“How are you feeling?”
“What do you want to do? What don’t you want to do?”
“What do you need?”
“What don’t you want? What do you want?”
“If you could have this situation any way that you want it, how might you want it?”
If they need a TEACHER, ask them:
“Is there something you need to know or want to understand?”
If they need a CONSULTANT, they may need options or choices to respond to:
“Do you want to BLANK, BLANK, or something else?”
“Are you feeling BLANK, BLANK, or something else?”
“How might it feel to say something like BLANK? Does that work for you?”
If you’re willing to take the time to discern what they really need in order to feel supported by you, it will positively affect the quality of your relationship. 
 
Thank you for investing your valuable time and energy into listening to the podcast. I’m so very grateful for you. 
 
If you enjoyed this episode, you can “tip the bartender” by rating and reviewing the podcast. Your review makes it easier for others to find the podcast. 
 
Don’t forget to hit the SUBSCRIBE button to be notified any time I pour out a new episode. 
 
My new book Intentional Intoxication: How To Deliberately Distill The Different Life You Desire, is available on Amazon. You can imbibe on the entire book in one, short, intentionally happier hour:
Intentional Intoxication Book
 
If you’re interested to know about how I can support you in overcoming the habit of escaping or chasing, I invite you to reach out to me by using the email below and we find a time to chat:
terribradwaylifecoaching@coachbradway.com
 
For a quick shot of your life’s current level of intoxication, I invite you to complete the 10 Questions on my Intoxication Inventory:
Intoxication Inventory

What And Who To Say NO To

Welcome to Season 2 of Intelligent Intoxication: Crafting A Top-Shelf Life. 
“We have activities we engage in and people we interact with. Some of those activities and relationships energize us and we feel lit up, alive and inspired while doing them or when we’re with them. Others drain and deplete our energy and we feel exhausted, tapped out, saturated.”
(Inspired/Paraphrased by Feroshia Knight.)
Our goal is to tell ourselves the truth regarding which of our professional/personal activities and relationships energize or deplete us. 
Make a list of your personal and professional activities. Personal activities may include:
Chores
Errands
calls/emails/texts
Projects
hobbies
Things to do with others
Things you do alone
Professional activities may include:
Tasks
Projects
Meetings
Communications
Next to each activity, place a + sign if it energizes you, and a - sign if it depletes you. 
Identify what the energizing activities share in common.
Discern what the depleting/draining activities have in common. 
Identify the immediate, temporary benefit you get from saying YES to activities that drain you.
Identify what saying YES to activities that drain you is costing you long- term. 
Identify the long-term benefit you get from saying YES to activities that energize you.
Identify the temporary cost to saying NO to things that don’t energize you. 
Decide what to do with the draining activities:
 
ditching it
delegating it
doing it while you do something fun
decreasing the amount of it you do or how you do it
 
Make a list of your personal and professional relationships. Personal relationships may include:
wives/husbands/partners
children
friends
extended family
acquaintances
 
Professional relationships may include:
Bosses
Colleagues
Team members
Support staff
 
Next to each name, place a + sign if the relationship energizes you, and a - sign if the relationship depletes you. 
Identify what the energizing relationships share in common.
Discern what the depleting/draining relationships have in common. 
Identify the immediate, temporary benefit you get from spending time in relationships that drain you.
Identify what saying YES to relationships that drain you is costing you long-term. 
Identify the long-term benefit you get from saying YES to relationships that energize you.
Identify the temporary cost to saying NO to relationships that fail to energize you. 
If a relationship drains or depletes you, you can consider:
Dissolving or ending it
Communicate what you want or need
Create and communicate boundaries
decreasing the amount of time you spend with this person
I invite you to consider these questions in regard to your personal and professional activities and relationships:
Does this activity energize me?
Does this activity deplete me?
Does this relationship energize me?
Does this relationship deplete me?
If so, why am I staying?
If I’m leaving, do I like my reasons?
 
Thank you for investing your valuable time and energy into listening to the podcast. I’m so very grateful for you. 
If you enjoyed this episode, you can “tip the bartender” by rating and reviewing the podcast. Your review makes it easier for others to find the podcast. 
 
Don’t forget to hit the SUBSCRIBE button to be notified any time I pour out a new episode. 
 
My new book Intentional Intoxication: How To Deliberately Distill The Different Life You Desire, is available on Amazon. You can imbibe on the entire book in one, short, intentionally happier hour:
Intentional Intoxication Book
 
If you’re interested to know about how I can support you in overcoming the habit of escaping or chasing, I invite you to reach out to me by using the email below and we find a time to chat:
terribradwaylifecoaching@coachbradway.com
 
For a quick shot of your life’s current level of intoxication, I invite you to complete the 10 Questions on my Intoxication Inventory:
Intoxication Inventory