Intelligent Intoxication

How To Change How You Measure Your Worth

When we unintentionally measure our worth by the wrong things, we struggle to feel confident. 
For years, I measured my worth by who chose me—and who didn't. No amount of achievement could outweigh the fact that I didn't have a boyfriend until my third year of college.
Attending my recent 40th high school reunion led me to a question I think every woman should ask:
What are you measuring yourself by?
Whether it's your relationships, your children's need for you, other people's approval, or your accomplishments, the "ruler" you use will shape how you see yourself.
In this episode, I explore why confidence isn't about what others see—it's about the standard we use to evaluate our own worth, and how choosing a better measuring stick can change the way we experience our second season of life.
If you’re the midlife mom of adult children who can use some support and encouragement as you intentionally find better ways to measure your progress, I can help.  I invite you to schedule a complimentary coaching call with me. Here’s the link:
Coaching Call with Terri
Thank you for investing your valuable time and energy into listening to the podcast. I’m so very grateful for you. 
If you enjoyed this episode, you can “tip the bartender” by rating and reviewing the podcast. Your review makes it easier for others to find the podcast. 
Don’t forget to hit the SUBSCRIBE button to be notified any time I pour out a new episode. 
My book Intentional Intoxication: How To Deliberately Distill The Different Life You Desire, is available on Amazon. You can imbibe on the entire book in one, short, intentionally happier hour:
Intentional Intoxication Book
If you’re interested to know about how I can support you in overcoming the habit of escaping or chasing, I invite you to reach out to me by using the email below and we find a time to chat:
terribradwaylifecoaching@coachbradway.com
For a quick shot of your life’s current level of intoxication, I invite you to complete the 10 Questions on my Intoxication Inventory:
Intoxication Inventory
 

Why You're Struggling to Stay Present

Why Midlife Moms Struggle to Stay Present
Do you find yourself replaying the past or worrying about the future instead of fully experiencing your life right now?
In this episode, we're exploring why so many midlife moms get stuck in regret, rumination, and worry—and why staying present can feel surprisingly difficult during this season of life.
After spending years caring for others, planning ahead, and anticipating everyone's needs, many women discover that uncertainty feels uncomfortable and the present moment feels unfamiliar.
We'll talk about why uncertainty often pulls us out of the present moment and simple questions you can use to help you return to what's happening right now.
If you've been feeling distracted by what was or preoccupied with what might be, this episode will help you understand why—and how to reconnect with the life that's unfolding in front of you today.
If you’re the midlife mom of adult children who can use some support and encouragement as you navigate uncertainty with your adult children in the second half of life, I can help.  I invite you to schedule a complimentary coaching call with me. Here’s the link:
Coaching Call with Terri
Thank you for investing your valuable time and energy into listening to the podcast. I’m so very grateful for you. 
If you enjoyed this episode, you can “tip the bartender” by rating and reviewing the podcast. Your review makes it easier for others to find the podcast. 
Don’t forget to hit the SUBSCRIBE button to be notified any time I pour out a new episode. 
My book Intentional Intoxication: How To Deliberately Distill The Different Life You Desire, is available on Amazon. You can imbibe on the entire book in one, short, intentionally happier hour:
Intentional Intoxication Book
If you’re interested to know about how I can support you in overcoming the habit of escaping or chasing, I invite you to reach out to me by using the email below and we find a time to chat:
terribradwaylifecoaching@coachbradway.com
For a quick shot of your life’s current level of intoxication, I invite you to complete the 10 Questions on my Intoxication Inventory:
Intoxication Inventory

How to Have A Tough Conversation With Adult Children

Navigating Difficult Conversations
Difficult conversations don't have to turn into battles. A simple framework can help you communicate clearly while staying connected.
Share Your ObservationsStart with what you've noticed, not accusations.
"I've noticed that when we have differing opinions, you tend to raise your voice or yell."
Address the ImpactExplain how their behavior affects you.
"When you yell, I feel uncomfortable and notice myself starting to shut down."
Get CuriousInvite them to share their experience.
"Does that make sense to you? Can you help me understand what's going on for you in those moments?"
Make a RequestClearly state what you'd like to happen moving forward.
"Going forward, if you're not able to discuss something calmly, please let me know. If things become heated, we'll take a break and circle back when we can both discuss it calmly."
Most Important: Before initiating any difficult conversation, check in with your own nervous system. If you still feel an urgent need to address it immediately, there's a good chance you haven't fully processed your emotions yet. Regulate first. Then communicate.
If you’re the midlife mom of adult children who can use some support and encouragement as you navigate difficult conversations with your adult children, I can help.  I invite you to schedule a complimentary coaching call with me. Here’s the link:
Coaching Call with Terri
Thank you for investing your valuable time and energy into listening to the podcast. I’m so very grateful for you. 
If you enjoyed this episode, you can “tip the bartender” by rating and reviewing the podcast. Your review makes it easier for others to find the podcast. 
Don’t forget to hit the SUBSCRIBE button to be notified any time I pour out a new episode. 
My book Intentional Intoxication: How To Deliberately Distill The Different Life You Desire, is available on Amazon. You can imbibe on the entire book in one, short, intentionally happier hour:
Intentional Intoxication Book
If you’re interested to know about how I can support you in overcoming the habit of escaping or chasing, I invite you to reach out to me by using the email below and we find a time to chat:
terribradwaylifecoaching@coachbradway.com
For a quick shot of your life’s current level of intoxication, I invite you to complete the 10 Questions on my Intoxication Inventory:
Intoxication Inventory

When Adult Children Disappoint You

No one prepares us for the complicated emotions that come with parenting adult children. 
In this episode, I'm talking honestly about the sting of unmet expectations, broken promises, and the stories we tell ourselves when our kids' choices don't align with what we hoped for.
We'll explore the "manuals" we carry about how our adult children should behave, how to separate disappointment from the meaning we assign to it, and why boundaries aren't about controlling our kids—they're about deciding how we want to show up regardless of what they choose.
You can love your adult children deeply, celebrate their independence, and still feel hurt when they disappoint you. 
If you’re the midlife mom of adult children who can use some support and encouragement as you navigate disappointment in the relationship with your adult children, I can help.  I invite you to schedule a complimentary coaching call with me. Here’s the link:
Coaching Call with Terri
Thank you for investing your valuable time and energy into listening to the podcast. I’m so very grateful for you. 
If you enjoyed this episode, you can “tip the bartender” by rating and reviewing the podcast. Your review makes it easier for others to find the podcast. 
Don’t forget to hit the SUBSCRIBE button to be notified any time I pour out a new episode. 
My book Intentional Intoxication: How To Deliberately Distill The Different Life You Desire, is available on Amazon. You can imbibe on the entire book in one, short, intentionally happier hour:
Intentional Intoxication Book
If you’re interested to know about how I can support you in overcoming the habit of escaping or chasing, I invite you to reach out to me by using the email below and we find a time to chat:
terribradwaylifecoaching@coachbradway.com
For a quick shot of your life’s current level of intoxication, I invite you to complete the 10 Questions on my Intoxication Inventory:
Intoxication Inventory

Navigating Transitions with Your Adult Children

In this episode, we’ll explore how to support our adult children as they move from the familiarity and freedom of college life into first jobs, new routines, and greater responsibility. We'll focus on supporting them with empathy rather than urgency while normalizing the mix of excitement, grief, uncertainty, and hope that often accompanies major life changes.
As our children step into new seasons, we navigate our own transitions as mothers as we release roles we've cherished, honor what has been, and learn to trust what we’re creating now.
In this episode, we'll explore:
Why transitions can feel both exciting and disorienting
How to validate your adult child's mixed emotions
The importance of normalizing grief during celebratory milestones
If you’re the midlife mom of adult children who can use some support and encouragement as you navigate both your kids’ transitions and your own, I can help.  I invite you to schedule a complimentary coaching call with me. Here’s the link:
Coaching Call with Terri
Thank you for investing your valuable time and energy into listening to the podcast. I’m so very grateful for you. 
If you enjoyed this episode, you can “tip the bartender” by rating and reviewing the podcast. Your review makes it easier for others to find the podcast. 
Don’t forget to hit the SUBSCRIBE button to be notified any time I pour out a new episode. 
My book Intentional Intoxication: How To Deliberately Distill The Different Life You Desire, is available on Amazon. You can imbibe on the entire book in one, short, intentionally happier hour:
Intentional Intoxication Book
If you’re interested to know about how I can support you in overcoming the habit of escaping or chasing, I invite you to reach out to me by using the email below and we find a time to chat:
terribradwaylifecoaching@coachbradway.com
For a quick shot of your life’s current level of intoxication, I invite you to complete the 10 Questions on my Intoxication Inventory:
Intoxication Inventory

Re-Mothering Yourself: The Three Things You May Still Need as a Midlife Mom

Many women arrive in midlife carrying a quiet longing they can't quite name.
Maybe you've done the therapy, built a beautiful life, raised children, and accomplished so much—and yet something still feels unfinished.
In her book Mother Hunger, therapist Kelly McDaniel identifies three essential needs every daughter requires from her mother:
Nurturance
To be seen, soothed, comforted, and cherished.
When nurturance is missing, we may spend years searching for comfort through achievement, food, busyness, relationships, or approval.
Re-mothering question:How did I honor my feelings today?
Protection
To feel safe, defended, and worthy of boundaries.
When protection is missing, we may struggle with people-pleasing, over-functioning, or allowing others to cross our boundaries.
Re-mothering question:How did I honor and defend my well-being today?
Guidance
To be helped in developing trust in ourselves and our own inner wisdom.
When guidance is missing, we may second-guess ourselves or constantly look outside ourselves for answers.
Re-mothering question:How did I listen to and trust my own wisdom today?
The Empty Nest Connection
For many women, the empty nest years bring old longings to the surface.
As we spend less time actively mothering others, we may become more aware of the ways we still long to be nurtured, protected, and guided ourselves.
The invitation isn't to blame our mothers or wait for them to change, but to become increasingly capable of providing these things for ourselves.
Reflection Questions
Where am I strongest: nurturance, protection, or guidance?
Which area feels most neglected?
What would it look like to mother myself well today?
What am I still hoping someone else will provide that I can begin offering myself?
For Mothers of Adult Children
As our children grow, our role evolves.
We continue to offer:
Nurturance through love and emotional presence.
Protection through healthy boundaries and trust.
Guidance through wisdom rather than control.
A beautiful question to consider:
How can I love my adult children deeply while trusting their journey completely?
Healing comes from learning to provide yourself with the nurturance, protection, and guidance you've needed all along.
If you’re the midlife mom of adult children who can use some support and encouragement as you re-mother yourself, I can help.  I invite you to schedule a complimentary coaching call with me. Here’s the link:
Coaching Call with Terri
Thank you for investing your valuable time and energy into listening to the podcast. I’m so very grateful for you. 
If you enjoyed this episode, you can “tip the bartender” by rating and reviewing the podcast. Your review makes it easier for others to find the podcast. 
Don’t forget to hit the SUBSCRIBE button to be notified any time I pour out a new episode. 
My book Intentional Intoxication: How To Deliberately Distill The Different Life You Desire, is available on Amazon. You can imbibe on the entire book in one, short, intentionally happier hour:
Intentional Intoxication Book
If you’re interested to know about how I can support you in overcoming the habit of escaping or chasing, I invite you to reach out to me by using the email below and we find a time to chat:
terribradwaylifecoaching@coachbradway.com
For a quick shot of your life’s current level of intoxication, I invite you to complete the 10 Questions on my Intoxication Inventory:
Intoxication Inventory

Grappling With "Not Enough" As a Midlife Mom

Many women live with a quiet belief running in the background:
I'm not doing enough. I'm not accomplishing enough. I haven't had enough. I am not enough.
What's interesting is that getting “more” rarely solves the problem. The goal is reached, the project is finished, the glass is refilled, and the feeling simply moves to the next thing.
The truth is that "not enough" is often not a quantity problem—it's an experience problem.
We spend so much time chasing the next thing that we lose the ability to recognize sufficiency in the present moment.
In this episode, we explore:
Why the feeling of "not enough" shows up in productivity, food, achievement, relationships, and self-improvement
Why more doesn't always create satisfaction
How Essentialism offers an alternative to “not enoughness”
Essentialism teaches us that if everything matters, nothing is ever enough. When we identify what is truly essential, we create boundaries around our time, energy, and attention—and we allow that to be enough.
 
Questions to consider:
What matters most in this season of my life?
What am I pursuing because it is essential?
What am I pursuing because I believe more will finally make me feel enough?
Where can I recognize sufficiency instead of chasing more?
Because perhaps enough isn't found by adding more to our lives.
Perhaps enough is found by removing everything that distracts us from what matters most.
Essentialism is not the pursuit of less. It's the disciplined pursuit of enough.
If you’re the midlife mom of adult children who can use some support and encouragement as you navigate this new season, I can help.  I invite you to schedule a complimentary coaching call with me. Here’s the link:
Coaching Call with Terri
Thank you for investing your valuable time and energy into listening to the podcast. I’m so very grateful for you. 
If you enjoyed this episode, you can “tip the bartender” by rating and reviewing the podcast. Your review makes it easier for others to find the podcast. 
Don’t forget to hit the SUBSCRIBE button to be notified any time I pour out a new episode. 
My book Intentional Intoxication: How To Deliberately Distill The Different Life You Desire, is available on Amazon. You can imbibe on the entire book in one, short, intentionally happier hour:
Intentional Intoxication Book
If you’re interested to know about how I can support you in overcoming the habit of escaping or chasing, I invite you to reach out to me by using the email below and we find a time to chat:
terribradwaylifecoaching@coachbradway.com
For a quick shot of your life’s current level of intoxication, I invite you to complete the 10 Questions on my Intoxication Inventory:
Intoxication Inventory

How To Stop Worrying About Your Adult Child's Future

For midlife moms of adult children, our role shifts dramatically. While we still love them deeply, we can no longer protect, guide, or guarantee outcomes the way we could when they were adolescents. 
In this episode, we explore the difference between loving our children and trying to emotionally future-proof them.
If you’ve been carrying sadness, fear, or helplessness as your children find their footing in adulthood, this episode is a reminder that uncertainty is not failure — it is often part of them becoming fully functioning adults. Nor is discomfort proof that they are doomed. 
If you’re the midlife mom of adult children who wants to learn how to support your grown kids without worrying about their futures, I can help.  I invite you to schedule a complimentary coaching call with me. Here’s the link:
Coaching Call with Terri
Thank you for investing your valuable time and energy into listening to the podcast. I’m so very grateful for you. 
If you enjoyed this episode, you can “tip the bartender” by rating and reviewing the podcast. Your review makes it easier for others to find the podcast. 
Don’t forget to hit the SUBSCRIBE button to be notified any time I pour out a new episode. 
My book Intentional Intoxication: How To Deliberately Distill The Different Life You Desire, is available on Amazon. You can imbibe on the entire book in one, short, intentionally happier hour:
Intentional Intoxication Book
If you’re interested to know about how I can support you in overcoming the habit of escaping or chasing, I invite you to reach out to me by using the email below and we find a time to chat:
terribradwaylifecoaching@coachbradway.com
For a quick shot of your life’s current level of intoxication, I invite you to complete the 10 Questions on my Intoxication Inventory:
Intoxication Inventory

How To Support Your Adult Child Without Becoming Responsible For Their Emotions

Many women—especially mothers of adult children—have been taught that love means emotional availability at all times.
But there’s a difference between being compassionate and becoming emotionally permeable or enmeshed.
In this episode, we explore:
why empathy can quietly turn into emotional over-functioning
the subtle signs of enmeshment in parent/adult child relationships
why “being there” for your children is not the same as carrying their emotional lives
how to support people you love without becoming their emotional regulator
We also discuss:
the difference between connection and emotional permeability
why healthy differentiation can feel threatening in enmeshed families
I invite you to consider this question:
“Am I supporting my adult child… or am I becoming responsible for their emotional life?”
Key Takeaways
Compassion says: “I care deeply.”
Emotional permeability says: “I must carry this.”
Healthy love requires connection—not emotional merging.
Support builds capability.
Over-functioning builds dependence.
I encourage you to remember that:
“Being available is not the same as being emotionally fused.”
“Your job is not to become your child’s emotional life support system. Your job is to help them build their own.”
“Sometimes the most loving thing you can do is step back enough for someone else to step up.”
If you’re the midlife mom of adult children who wants to learn how to support your grown kids in an emotionally healthy way, I can help.  I invite you to schedule a complimentary coaching call with me. Here’s the link:
Coaching Call with Terri
Thank you for investing your valuable time and energy into listening to the podcast. I’m so very grateful for you. 
If you enjoyed this episode, you can “tip the bartender” by rating and reviewing the podcast. Your review makes it easier for others to find the podcast. 
Don’t forget to hit the SUBSCRIBE button to be notified any time I pour out a new episode. 
My book Intentional Intoxication: How To Deliberately Distill The Different Life You Desire, is available on Amazon. You can imbibe on the entire book in one, short, intentionally happier hour:
Intentional Intoxication Book
If you’re interested to know about how I can support you in overcoming the habit of escaping or chasing, I invite you to reach out to me by using the email below and we find a time to chat:
terribradwaylifecoaching@coachbradway.com
For a quick shot of your life’s current level of intoxication, I invite you to complete the 10 Questions on my Intoxication Inventory:
Intoxication Inventory

Your Adult Children Are Not Your Emotional Charging Station

When our children were growing up, we were meant to be their emotional charging station.
They came to us for:
comfort
reassurance
grounding
perspective
emotional safety
That was healthy.That was parenting.
But in the empty nest season, many parents unconsciously reverse that relationship and begin expecting their adult children to emotionally sustain them.
Our adult children are not meant to carry our emotional well-being:
1. Children are supposed to draw from us—not sustain us
When kids are young, dependency is normal.
But adulthood changes the assignment.
Adult children are supposed to separate, build lives, and become independent.
If we need them to emotionally stabilize us, we place a burden on them they were never meant to carry.
Adult children should not be responsible for your peace
This often sounds like:
Why don’t they call more?
I just want them to need me
I feel hurt when they make decisions without me
Underneath is often:
“I need you to help me feel secure.”
That creates guilt instead of closeness and obligation instead of intimacy.
Worry can disguise emotional dependency
Sometimes what we call concern is actually emotional dependence.
Ask yourself:
Does their happiness determine mine?
Do their struggles destabilize my peace?
Does their approval fuel my emotional stability?
If so, we may be emotionally plugging into them instead of standing on our own emotional ground.
A happy parent is a gift
Gretchen Rubin shared this idea:
“What if our adult children are only as happy as their least happy parent?”
Your peace gives them permission to live.
Your groundedness frees them from managing you emotionally.
A fulfilled parent says:
“You are free to build your life.I am fully living mine.”
Support them—don’t lean on them for identity
This doesn’t mean becoming distant.
It means healthy emotional responsibility.
“I will always support you,but I will not make you responsible for my emotional well-being.”
That is mature love.
Reflection Questions
Have I made one of my children responsible for my peace?
Am I looking to them for identity or validation?
Where do I need to create my own emotional stability?
What would it look like to become a deeply grounded parent?
One of the greatest gifts we can give our adult children is a parent who knows how to stay fully charged on her own.
If you’re the midlife mom of adult children who wants to learn how to recharge your own emotional battery, I can help.  I invite you to schedule a complimentary coaching call with me. Here’s the link:
Coaching Call with Terri
Thank you for investing your valuable time and energy into listening to the podcast. I’m so very grateful for you. 
If you enjoyed this episode, you can “tip the bartender” by rating and reviewing the podcast. Your review makes it easier for others to find the podcast. 
Don’t forget to hit the SUBSCRIBE button to be notified any time I pour out a new episode. 
My book Intentional Intoxication: How To Deliberately Distill The Different Life You Desire, is available on Amazon. You can imbibe on the entire book in one, short, intentionally happier hour:
Intentional Intoxication Book
If you’re interested to know about how I can support you in overcoming the habit of escaping or chasing, I invite you to reach out to me by using the email below and we find a time to chat:
terribradwaylifecoaching@coachbradway.com
For a quick shot of your life’s current level of intoxication, I invite you to complete the 10 Questions on my Intoxication Inventory:
Intoxication Inventory