Intelligent Intoxication

What if decluttering isn’t really about having a cleaner, more organized home—but about creating space for your next season?
Inspired by Somer Lynn’s The Uncluttered Project, we explore her powerful idea:
“When your home stops overwhelming you, two doors open.”
Door one: the people.More space and mental capacity to be present with the people you love.
Door two: the life you’re meaning to create.More room to imagine, choose, and build what’s next.
Because your brain can’t build in a buried house.
In this episode, we’ll look at what your clutter might be taking up besides physical space—and how clearing what no longer belongs can make room for the life you actually want to create.
To find Somer:Instagram: @its.somerlynn
I highly recommend her book:The Uncluttered Project Book
 
If you’re the midlife mom of adult children who can use support as you intentionally craft a new theme for your next chapter, I can help.  I invite you to schedule a complimentary coaching call with me. Here’s the link:
Coaching Call with Terri
Thank you for investing your valuable time and energy into listening to the podcast. I’m so very grateful for you. 
If you enjoyed this episode, you can “tip the bartender” by rating and reviewing the podcast. Your review makes it easier for others to find the podcast. 
Don’t forget to hit the SUBSCRIBE button to be notified any time I pour out a new episode. 
My book Intentional Intoxication: How To Deliberately Distill The Different Life You Desire, is available on Amazon. You can imbibe on the entire book in one, short, intentionally happier hour:
Intentional Intoxication Book
If you’re interested to know about how I can support you in overcoming the habit of escaping or chasing, I invite you to reach out to me by using the email below and we find a time to chat:
terribradwaylifecoaching@coachbradway.com
For a quick shot of your life’s current level of intoxication, I invite you to complete the 10 Questions on my Intoxication Inventory:
Intoxication Inventory

When your children are grown, the question isn't necessarily “What should I do now?”
A more interesting question is:
“What do I want this next chapter of my life to be about?”
A life theme isn't a goal, a resolution, or a five-year plan. It's a direction. A quality you want to cultivate. A question you want to explore. A way you want to experience this season of your life.
For women who spent years organizing their lives around their children, this can be an opportunity to consciously decide what comes next.
1. Identity: Who Am I Now?
For years, motherhood may have been the organizing structure of your life.
Now you may be asking:
Who am I beyond being Mom?
What parts of myself got put on hold?
What do I like now?
What am I curious about?
What strengths have I developed that I want to use differently?
Who am I becoming?
Theme: Moving from identity-by-role to identity-by-choice.
2. Freedom & Choice: What Do I Actually Want?
One of the gifts of this stage can be realizing how much choice you have.
You don't necessarily have to keep doing things because you've always done them.
You can ask:
What do I want my days to look like?
What would I choose if I didn't have to explain it?
What am I doing because I want to—and what am I doing because I feel obligated?
Where do I want more freedom?
Where am I ready to say no?
Theme: Choosing based on desire rather than obligation.
3. Letting Go: What No Longer Fits?
A new chapter often requires some editing.
That might mean letting go of:
An outdated identity
A commitment
A relationship dynamic
Possessions
Expectations
Guilt
Perfectionism
The belief that you have to be needed to be valuable
Sometimes the most important question isn't “What should I add?”
It's:
“What am I finished with?”
Theme: Creating space for what's next by releasing what no longer belongs.
4. Contribution: What Do I Want to Do With What I Know Now?
You have decades of experience, skills, relationships, perspective, and hard-earned wisdom.
How might you use that now?
Maybe it's:
Returning to work
Starting a business
Mentoring
Teaching
Volunteering
Creating something
Leading
Supporting a cause
Finally pursuing an idea you've carried for years
The question becomes:
“What still has my name on it?”
Theme: Turning experience into meaningful contribution.
5. Relationships: Who Do I Want Around Me Now?
This season can change your relationships—not necessarily because something is wrong, but because you are changing.
You might want to:
Deepen friendships
Make new friends
Redefine your marriage
Develop a different relationship with your adult children
Stop over-functioning for other people
Create more reciprocal relationships
Become more intentional about who gets your time and energy
A particularly important shift:
Moving from being needed to being connected.
6. Pleasure: What Fills Me Up?
Motherhood can make productivity feel like the measure of a good day.
This chapter can invite a different question:
“What do I enjoy?”
Not what is useful.
Not what makes you a good wife, mother, or employee.
What actually feels good?
Think:
Travel
Friends
Food
Creativity
Music
Exercise
Beauty
Hobbies
Adventure
Learning
Sex
Laughter
Spontaneity
Theme: Building a life that contains pleasure—not just responsibility.
7. Lifestyle: How Do I Want My Life to Feel?
This is bigger than what you do.
It's about the experience of your everyday life.
Ask:
What do I want my mornings to feel like?
What kind of home do I want to live in?
How much structure do I want?
How much spontaneity?
Do I want to travel more?
What rituals do I want?
What do I want my calendar to look like?
What would make an ordinary Tuesday feel really good?
Theme: Designing a lifestyle that fits who you are now.
8. Meaning: What Makes This Chapter Matter?
Eventually, the question may move beyond:
“What do I want to do?”
to:
“What do I want my life to mean?”
That could involve:
Family
Community
Creativity
Service
Spirituality
Mentoring
Legacy
Personal growth
Making a difference
This isn't necessarily about doing something big.
It may simply be about creating a life that feels satisfying, enjoyable, and meaningful.
9. Courage & Expansion: What If I Stopped Waiting?
There can be a temptation in midlife to make life smaller.
But what if this season is actually an invitation to expand?
Try something you've never done
Be a beginner
Take a risk
Travel somewhere new
Start something
Make the decision you've been avoiding
Become more visible
Say yes to something that scares you
Theme: Expansion instead of contraction.
The Bigger Question
Instead of asking:
“What am I supposed to do now that my kids are grown?”
Try asking:
“What do I want this chapter of my life to be about?”
And you don't have to choose one theme forever.
Your theme might be:
Freedom.
Or Adventure.
Or Friendship.
Or Contribution.
Or Creativity.
Or Simplification.
Or Pleasure.
Or Courage.
Or maybe it's simply:
“I'm figuring out who I am now.”
The goal isn't to create a perfect second act.
It's to become intentional about the life you're creating now.
Closing thought
Your children's lives may no longer need to be the organizing principle of yours.
That doesn't mean motherhood is over.
It means there is room for more.
More choice.More identity.More friendship.More pleasure.More purpose.More you.
And the question isn't “What should I do next?”
It's:
“What do I want this next chapter to be about?”
If you’re the midlife mom of adult children who can use support as you intentionally craft a new theme for your next chapter, I can help.  I invite you to schedule a complimentary coaching call with me. Here’s the link:
Coaching Call with Terri
Thank you for investing your valuable time and energy into listening to the podcast. I’m so very grateful for you. 
If you enjoyed this episode, you can “tip the bartender” by rating and reviewing the podcast. Your review makes it easier for others to find the podcast. 
Don’t forget to hit the SUBSCRIBE button to be notified any time I pour out a new episode. 
My book Intentional Intoxication: How To Deliberately Distill The Different Life You Desire, is available on Amazon. You can imbibe on the entire book in one, short, intentionally happier hour:
Intentional Intoxication Book
If you’re interested to know about how I can support you in overcoming the habit of escaping or chasing, I invite you to reach out to me by using the email below and we find a time to chat:
terribradwaylifecoaching@coachbradway.com
For a quick shot of your life’s current level of intoxication, I invite you to complete the 10 Questions on my Intoxication Inventory:
Intoxication Inventory

There’s a particular feeling that happens when your adult child has been home for a while—and suddenly, you realize their time at home is coming to an end.
Maybe they’re heading back to college.Maybe they’re going back to their apartment.Maybe they’re leaving for a new job or a new chapter.
And you can feel it coming.
And there’s this ache.
You start noticing the little things you’re going to miss. And there can be this very real sadness.
And then…
There’s another feeling.
One that we don't always talk about.
Relief.
You might be looking at the calendar and thinking:
Okay… three more days.
And then immediately feeling guilty because you’re thinking:
Wait. Why am I counting down?
Maybe you’re ready to get your routine back.
You’re ready to eat what you want for dinner.
You’re ready to go to bed when you want to go to bed.
You’re ready to have the bathroom to yourself.
You’re ready to put things where you want them.
You’re ready to have your quiet house back.
You’re ready to have your space back.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with that.
You can miss your child and be relieved that they’re leaving.
Those feelings don't cancel each other out.
In fact, I think sometimes we misunderstand relief.
We think relief means, I'm glad you're gone.
But that's not necessarily what relief means.
Sometimes relief simply means:
I love having you here, AND I love having my life back.
Because when our children come home, even when they're adults, we often shift.
We accommodate.
We adjust our schedules.
We think about what they might want to eat.
We listen for the front door.
We make room—literally and emotionally.
And when they leave, there can be this exhale.
Not because we don't love them.
But because we're allowed to love our own lives, too.
And I think that's one of the beautiful challenges of this second season of motherhood.
We're learning that loving our children doesn't require us to abandon ourselves.
We can be deeply connected to them without needing them physically present.
We can miss them without needing them back.
We can be sad when they leave and excited about what we're going to do with the space they've left behind.
And maybe that's the invitation here:
Instead of judging the feeling, let yourself feel the whole thing.
Let yourself be sad.
And, then, ask yourself:
“Now that I have my space back, what do I want to do with it?”
Because maybe this isn't about choosing between missing your child and enjoying your freedom.
Maybe this season is about learning that you get to have both.
You get to love them.
You get to miss them.
And you get to love the life you're building when they're not home.
And none of that makes you a bad mom.
It might actually mean you're becoming a very healthy one.
If you’re the midlife mom of adult children who can use support as you navigate grief and welcome relief, I can help.  I invite you to schedule a complimentary coaching call with me. Here’s the link:
Coaching Call with Terri
Thank you for investing your valuable time and energy into listening to the podcast. I’m so very grateful for you. 
If you enjoyed this episode, you can “tip the bartender” by rating and reviewing the podcast. Your review makes it easier for others to find the podcast. 
Don’t forget to hit the SUBSCRIBE button to be notified any time I pour out a new episode. 
My book Intentional Intoxication: How To Deliberately Distill The Different Life You Desire, is available on Amazon. You can imbibe on the entire book in one, short, intentionally happier hour:
Intentional Intoxication Book
If you’re interested to know about how I can support you in overcoming the habit of escaping or chasing, I invite you to reach out to me by using the email below and we find a time to chat:
terribradwaylifecoaching@coachbradway.com
For a quick shot of your life’s current level of intoxication, I invite you to complete the 10 Questions on my Intoxication Inventory:
Intoxication Inventory

In our friendships and friend groups, we either show up as a liability or an asset.
“People don’t like you because they immediately sense that you’re a survival liability.”
 
Donald Miller
 
When you are coming across as a survival liability when you are engaging in one of these 4 “N’s”:
 
You have a pattern of being:
 
Negative: draining or depleting. 
Needy: you require a lot of attention and take up way more “air time” than others. You may be clingy or pushy. 
Not safe: others don’t trust you. You might exhibit “black or white” thinking or are repeatedly righteous and judgmental. 
Not accountable: you are in the habit of “playing the Victim” and blaming others for your emotions. 
 
In order to be an asset in your friendships, focus on:
 
Developing the gifts and strengths you can offer to others
Be genuinely interested IN others, rather than trying too hard to appear “interesting” TO others
Be mindful of granting others equal air time
If you’re the midlife mom of adult children who can use support as you develop friendship strategies and strenghts, I can help.  I invite you to schedule a complimentary coaching call with me. Here’s the link:
Coaching Call with Terri
Thank you for investing your valuable time and energy into listening to the podcast. I’m so very grateful for you. 
If you enjoyed this episode, you can “tip the bartender” by rating and reviewing the podcast. Your review makes it easier for others to find the podcast. 
Don’t forget to hit the SUBSCRIBE button to be notified any time I pour out a new episode. 
My book Intentional Intoxication: How To Deliberately Distill The Different Life You Desire, is available on Amazon. You can imbibe on the entire book in one, short, intentionally happier hour:
Intentional Intoxication Book
If you’re interested to know about how I can support you in overcoming the habit of escaping or chasing, I invite you to reach out to me by using the email below and we find a time to chat:
terribradwaylifecoaching@coachbradway.com
For a quick shot of your life’s current level of intoxication, I invite you to complete the 10 Questions on my Intoxication Inventory:
Intoxication Inventory

So much of our lives happen by default.
We inherit beliefs.We inherit traditions.We inherit routines.We inherit friendships.We inherit responsibilities.We inherit identities.
Eventually we wake up one day and realize:
"I'm managing a life I didn't intentionally create."
Rather than endlessly tweaking what's no longer working, sometimes the healthiest thing to do is pause.
Empty everything out.
Then consciously decide what deserves to come back in.
"I think one of the biggest mistakes we make is assuming that because something came into our life naturally, it should stay forever."
Examples:
Friend groups
Volunteer commitments
Family roles
Morning routines
Businesses
Book clubs
Workout groups
Parenting identities
Traditions
Belief systems
Career paths
None of these are sacred simply because they've existed a long time.
Instead of asking:
"How do I make this work?"
Ask:
"If I were starting from scratch today... would I build this?"
Step One
Pause
Don't redesign while you're emotionally flooded.
Create space.
Step Two
Empty the “Room”
Mentally remove everything.
Imagine nothing exists.
Step Three
Choose Intentionally
Ask:
What deserves to come back?
What has earned a place?
What no longer fits?
Step Four
Rebuild on Purpose
Now create systems.
Boundaries.
Expectations.
Culture.
Don't simply recreate what you've always had.
The second season of life isn't just about discovering who you are. It's about becoming the intentional creator of your life instead of the caretaker of a life that accumulated by default. 
If you’re the midlife mom of adult children who can use support to discern what no longer fits in your life, I can help.  I invite you to schedule a complimentary coaching call with me. Here’s the link:
Coaching Call with Terri
Thank you for investing your valuable time and energy into listening to the podcast. I’m so very grateful for you. 
If you enjoyed this episode, you can “tip the bartender” by rating and reviewing the podcast. Your review makes it easier for others to find the podcast. 
Don’t forget to hit the SUBSCRIBE button to be notified any time I pour out a new episode. 
My book Intentional Intoxication: How To Deliberately Distill The Different Life You Desire, is available on Amazon. You can imbibe on the entire book in one, short, intentionally happier hour:
Intentional Intoxication Book
If you’re interested to know about how I can support you in overcoming the habit of escaping or chasing, I invite you to reach out to me by using the email below and we find a time to chat:
terribradwaylifecoaching@coachbradway.com
For a quick shot of your life’s current level of intoxication, I invite you to complete the 10 Questions on my Intoxication Inventory:
Intoxication Inventory
 

There’s a difference between feel envious of women who are young and experiencing grief over what you didn’t get to experience while you were young. 
If you've found yourself feeling unexpectedly emotional while watching younger people live their lives, I want to offer you this thought:
Maybe you're not jealous.
Maybe you're grieving
If you’re the midlife mom of adult children who can use some support and encouragement as you grieve what you didn’t get to experience while you were young, I can help.  I invite you to schedule a complimentary coaching call with me. Here’s the link:
Coaching Call with Terri
Thank you for investing your valuable time and energy into listening to the podcast. I’m so very grateful for you. 
If you enjoyed this episode, you can “tip the bartender” by rating and reviewing the podcast. Your review makes it easier for others to find the podcast. 
Don’t forget to hit the SUBSCRIBE button to be notified any time I pour out a new episode. 
My book Intentional Intoxication: How To Deliberately Distill The Different Life You Desire, is available on Amazon. You can imbibe on the entire book in one, short, intentionally happier hour:
Intentional Intoxication Book
If you’re interested to know about how I can support you in overcoming the habit of escaping or chasing, I invite you to reach out to me by using the email below and we find a time to chat:
terribradwaylifecoaching@coachbradway.com
For a quick shot of your life’s current level of intoxication, I invite you to complete the 10 Questions on my Intoxication Inventory:
Intoxication Inventory
Episode Show Notes
No one prepares us for the complicated emotions that come with parenting adult children. 
In this episode, I'm talking honestly about the sting of unmet expectations, broken promises, and the stories we tell ourselves when our kids' choices don't align with what we hoped for.
We'll explore the "manuals" we carry about how our adult children should behave, how to separate disappointment from the meaning we assign to it, and why boundaries aren't about controlling our kids—they're about deciding how we want to show up regardless of what they choose.
You can love your adult children deeply, celebrate their independence, and still feel hurt when they disappoint you. 
If you’re the midlife mom of adult children who can use some support and encouragement as you navigate disappointment in the relationship with your adult children, I can help.  I invite you to schedule a complimentary coaching call with me. Here’s the link:
Coaching Call with Terri
Thank you for investing your valuable time and energy into listening to the podcast. I’m so very grateful for you. 
If you enjoyed this episode, you can “tip the bartender” by rating and reviewing the podcast. Your review makes it easier for others to find the podcast. 
Don’t forget to hit the SUBSCRIBE button to be notified any time I pour out a new episode. 
My book Intentional Intoxication: How To Deliberately Distill The Different Life You Desire, is available on Amazon. You can imbibe on the entire book in one, short, intentionally happier hour:
Intentional Intoxication Book
If you’re interested to know about how I can support you in overcoming the habit of escaping or chasing, I invite you to reach out to me by using the email below and we find a time to chat:
terribradwaylifecoaching@coachbradway.com
For a quick shot of your life’s current level of intoxication, I invite you to complete the 10 Questions on my Intoxication Inventory:
Intoxication Inventory

When we unintentionally measure our worth by the wrong things, we struggle to feel confident. 
For years, I measured my worth by who chose me—and who didn't. No amount of achievement could outweigh the fact that I didn't have a boyfriend until my third year of college.
Attending my recent 40th high school reunion led me to a question I think every woman should ask:
What are you measuring yourself by?
Whether it's your relationships, your children's need for you, other people's approval, or your accomplishments, the "ruler" you use will shape how you see yourself.
In this episode, I explore why confidence isn't about what others see—it's about the standard we use to evaluate our own worth, and how choosing a better measuring stick can change the way we experience our second season of life.
If you’re the midlife mom of adult children who can use some support and encouragement as you intentionally find better ways to measure your progress, I can help.  I invite you to schedule a complimentary coaching call with me. Here’s the link:
Coaching Call with Terri
Thank you for investing your valuable time and energy into listening to the podcast. I’m so very grateful for you. 
If you enjoyed this episode, you can “tip the bartender” by rating and reviewing the podcast. Your review makes it easier for others to find the podcast. 
Don’t forget to hit the SUBSCRIBE button to be notified any time I pour out a new episode. 
My book Intentional Intoxication: How To Deliberately Distill The Different Life You Desire, is available on Amazon. You can imbibe on the entire book in one, short, intentionally happier hour:
Intentional Intoxication Book
If you’re interested to know about how I can support you in overcoming the habit of escaping or chasing, I invite you to reach out to me by using the email below and we find a time to chat:
terribradwaylifecoaching@coachbradway.com
For a quick shot of your life’s current level of intoxication, I invite you to complete the 10 Questions on my Intoxication Inventory:
Intoxication Inventory
 

Why Midlife Moms Struggle to Stay Present
Do you find yourself replaying the past or worrying about the future instead of fully experiencing your life right now?
In this episode, we're exploring why so many midlife moms get stuck in regret, rumination, and worry—and why staying present can feel surprisingly difficult during this season of life.
After spending years caring for others, planning ahead, and anticipating everyone's needs, many women discover that uncertainty feels uncomfortable and the present moment feels unfamiliar.
We'll talk about why uncertainty often pulls us out of the present moment and simple questions you can use to help you return to what's happening right now.
If you've been feeling distracted by what was or preoccupied with what might be, this episode will help you understand why—and how to reconnect with the life that's unfolding in front of you today.
If you’re the midlife mom of adult children who can use some support and encouragement as you navigate uncertainty with your adult children in the second half of life, I can help.  I invite you to schedule a complimentary coaching call with me. Here’s the link:
Coaching Call with Terri
Thank you for investing your valuable time and energy into listening to the podcast. I’m so very grateful for you. 
If you enjoyed this episode, you can “tip the bartender” by rating and reviewing the podcast. Your review makes it easier for others to find the podcast. 
Don’t forget to hit the SUBSCRIBE button to be notified any time I pour out a new episode. 
My book Intentional Intoxication: How To Deliberately Distill The Different Life You Desire, is available on Amazon. You can imbibe on the entire book in one, short, intentionally happier hour:
Intentional Intoxication Book
If you’re interested to know about how I can support you in overcoming the habit of escaping or chasing, I invite you to reach out to me by using the email below and we find a time to chat:
terribradwaylifecoaching@coachbradway.com
For a quick shot of your life’s current level of intoxication, I invite you to complete the 10 Questions on my Intoxication Inventory:
Intoxication Inventory

Navigating Difficult Conversations
Difficult conversations don't have to turn into battles. A simple framework can help you communicate clearly while staying connected.
Share Your ObservationsStart with what you've noticed, not accusations.
"I've noticed that when we have differing opinions, you tend to raise your voice or yell."
Address the ImpactExplain how their behavior affects you.
"When you yell, I feel uncomfortable and notice myself starting to shut down."
Get CuriousInvite them to share their experience.
"Does that make sense to you? Can you help me understand what's going on for you in those moments?"
Make a RequestClearly state what you'd like to happen moving forward.
"Going forward, if you're not able to discuss something calmly, please let me know. If things become heated, we'll take a break and circle back when we can both discuss it calmly."
Most Important: Before initiating any difficult conversation, check in with your own nervous system. If you still feel an urgent need to address it immediately, there's a good chance you haven't fully processed your emotions yet. Regulate first. Then communicate.
If you’re the midlife mom of adult children who can use some support and encouragement as you navigate difficult conversations with your adult children, I can help.  I invite you to schedule a complimentary coaching call with me. Here’s the link:
Coaching Call with Terri
Thank you for investing your valuable time and energy into listening to the podcast. I’m so very grateful for you. 
If you enjoyed this episode, you can “tip the bartender” by rating and reviewing the podcast. Your review makes it easier for others to find the podcast. 
Don’t forget to hit the SUBSCRIBE button to be notified any time I pour out a new episode. 
My book Intentional Intoxication: How To Deliberately Distill The Different Life You Desire, is available on Amazon. You can imbibe on the entire book in one, short, intentionally happier hour:
Intentional Intoxication Book
If you’re interested to know about how I can support you in overcoming the habit of escaping or chasing, I invite you to reach out to me by using the email below and we find a time to chat:
terribradwaylifecoaching@coachbradway.com
For a quick shot of your life’s current level of intoxication, I invite you to complete the 10 Questions on my Intoxication Inventory:
Intoxication Inventory

No one prepares us for the complicated emotions that come with parenting adult children. 
In this episode, I'm talking honestly about the sting of unmet expectations, broken promises, and the stories we tell ourselves when our kids' choices don't align with what we hoped for.
We'll explore the "manuals" we carry about how our adult children should behave, how to separate disappointment from the meaning we assign to it, and why boundaries aren't about controlling our kids—they're about deciding how we want to show up regardless of what they choose.
You can love your adult children deeply, celebrate their independence, and still feel hurt when they disappoint you. 
If you’re the midlife mom of adult children who can use some support and encouragement as you navigate disappointment in the relationship with your adult children, I can help.  I invite you to schedule a complimentary coaching call with me. Here’s the link:
Coaching Call with Terri
Thank you for investing your valuable time and energy into listening to the podcast. I’m so very grateful for you. 
If you enjoyed this episode, you can “tip the bartender” by rating and reviewing the podcast. Your review makes it easier for others to find the podcast. 
Don’t forget to hit the SUBSCRIBE button to be notified any time I pour out a new episode. 
My book Intentional Intoxication: How To Deliberately Distill The Different Life You Desire, is available on Amazon. You can imbibe on the entire book in one, short, intentionally happier hour:
Intentional Intoxication Book
If you’re interested to know about how I can support you in overcoming the habit of escaping or chasing, I invite you to reach out to me by using the email below and we find a time to chat:
terribradwaylifecoaching@coachbradway.com
For a quick shot of your life’s current level of intoxication, I invite you to complete the 10 Questions on my Intoxication Inventory:
Intoxication Inventory