When You're Stressed

“Dealing with your STRESS is a separate process from dealing with the things that cause your stress. To deal with your STRESS, you have to COMPLETE THE CYCLE.”

Emily Nagoski, PhD/Amelia Nagoski, DMA

Burnout: The Secret To Unlocking The Stress Cycle

What we refer to as “Stress” can be broken down into three parts:

1. STRESSORS: the triggers that activate the stress response in your body. Triggers can be both external and internal. These stressors cause a stress response in our body. 
2. STRESS RESPONSES: we experience a stress response anytime our Central Nervous System registers any stressor as too much, too fast, or too soon. We may go into Fight, Flight, Freeze, or Fawn. 
3. STRESS CYCLES: our goal is to complete the stress cycle in our bodies by giving ourselves what we really need to either calm down or to re-energize. 

When we get triggered by a stressor, our 

CENTRAL NERVOUS SYSTEM

tries to

CONTROL it

by going into

a STRESS RESPONSE:

• FIGHT
• FLIGHT
• FREEZE
• FAWN

“The FIGHT response happens when you feel you're in danger, but you believe you can overpower the threat.“

• You cry
• You feel like punching someone or something
• Your jaw is tight, or you grind your teeth
• You glare at people or talk to them with anger in your voice
• You feel like stomping or kicking
• You feel intense anger
• You feel like killing someone, perhaps even yourself
• Your stomach feels tied in knots, or you have a burning feeling in your stomach

You may feel:

• irritated
• annoyed
• frustrated
• angry
• irate
• enraged

“When you believe you can overcome the danger by running away, your brain prepares your body for FLIGHT.”

• Your legs are restless
• You feel numbness in your extremities
• Your eyes dilate and dart around
• You constantly move your legs and feet
• You're fidgety
• You're tense
• You feel trapped
• You exercise excessively

You may feel:

• unsure
• worried
• anxious
• scared
• frightened
• terrified

“When you feel neither running nor fighting is the best choice, you can freeze instead:”

• You feel cold
• You have numbness in your body
• Your skin is pale
• You feel stiff or heavy
• You have a sense of dread
• Your heart is pounding
• Your heart rate may decrease
• You feel yourself tolerating the stress

You may feel:

• shut down
• numb
• immobilized
• disconnected
• petrified

“When you've tried fight, flight, or freeze several times without success, you may find yourself using the fawn response… your only hope of survival might be compliance and helpfulness… you are more concerned about making them (people who’ve triggered you) happy than about doing what's right for you.”

(“Fight, Flight, Freeze: How To Recognize It And What To Do When It Happens.”

Stephanie Kirby

 

If you know that you need help identifying your stressors, managing stress responses, and/or closing your stress cycles, email me to schedule a complimentary happy hour call. 

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My new book Intentional Intoxication: How To Deliberately Distill The Different Life You Desire, is available on Amazon. You can imbibe on the entire book in one, short, intentionally happier hour:

Intentional Intoxication Book

 

If you’re interested to know about how I can support you in overcoming the habit of escaping or chasing, I invite you to reach out to me by using the email below and we find a time to chat:

terribradwaylifecoaching@coachbradway.com

 

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Intoxication Inventory