When You're Drowning As A Caregiver

If you are a CAREGIVER, you are likely responding to the needs of someone who is not fully independent, such as a child or an individual with an illness, disability, or disorder. You are providing necessary support to someone who cannot care for themselves. 

But, if you are not also taking care of and supporting yourself, you will begin to “flail” or “drown”. 

If you’re beginning to “flail”, you may notice that:

• your stress levels are becoming intolerable
• you’re getting increasingly agitated, irritated, or frustrated
• you feel revved up or jittery
• your body feels heavy, tight, constricted, or uncomfortable
• you’re spacing out
• you’re escaping the present moment

When you’re no longer flailing yet beginning to “drown”, you may notice that:

• your stress levels are intolerable
• you feel reactive
• you feel chronically exhausted, depleted, and drained
• you’re anxious, angry, or even enraged
• you’re saying things you regret later
• you feel trapped and out of control

As a Caregiver, I encourage you to KEEP:

• loving and wanting to help and support other people
• loving and supporting yourself

As a Caregiver, I encourage you to STOP:

• trying to do the work of a trained professional like a counselor, therapist, doctor, nurse, or coach
• feeling guilty or selfish when you’re past your mental, emotional, or physical capacity
• anticipating or assuming needs
• helping others in order to get attention, approval, or validation
• Ignoring the symptoms of stress in your body

As a Caregiver, I encourage you to START:

• asking yourself several times daily - “What do I need?”
  • Do I need:
    • silence?
    • solitude
    • stillness?
    • time outside?
    • water?
    • food?
    • more sleep?
    • rest?
    • space?
    • exercise?
    • to breathe?
    • to write my thoughts on paper?
    • to talk to someone?
    • permission to play?
    • ask someone to help me?
    • hire out some of the care?
    • to go someplace else for a few hours?

Key Takeways:

• When caregivinig is at your own expense, it is self-sacrifice. 
• Self-care is not selfish. 
• You can only do what you can only do given how emotionally, mentally, or physically resourced you currently are. 
• If you need help, please email or DM me. I can help you take care of yourself AS you give care to others. 
• Thank you for investing your valuable time and energy into listening to the podcast. I’m so very grateful for you. 
• If you enjoyed this episode, you can “tip the bartender” by rating and reviewing the podcast. Your review makes it easier for others to find the podcast. 
• Don’t forget to hit the SUBSCRIBE button to be notified any time I pour out a new episode. 

 

My new book Intentional Intoxication: How To Deliberately Distill The Different Life You Desire, is available on Amazon. You can imbibe on the entire book in one, short, intentionally happier hour:

Intentional Intoxication Book

 

If you’re interested to know about how I can support you in overcoming the habit of escaping or chasing, I invite you to reach out to me by using the email below and we find a time to chat:

terribradwaylifecoaching@coachbradway.com

 

For a quick shot of your life’s current level of intoxication, I invite you to complete the 10 Questions on my Intoxication Inventory:

Intoxication Inventory