Intelligent Intoxication

The Changes You Choose vs. The Ones You Don’t

In this episode, we’re exploring the difference between the life changes we choose as midlife women and the ones that seem to happen to us.
Some changes arrive because we intentionally decide something needs to shift — our routines, our relationships, our homes, our health, or the way we want to live this next season.
Other changes come without invitation: children leaving home, changing family dynamics, body changes, loss, or unexpected transitions that can leave us feeling untethered.
The truth is, midlife often asks us to navigate both.
We may not always choose what happens, but we do get to choose how we respond, what meaning we make of it, and who we become through it.
This episode is an invitation to notice where life is changing around you, where you are being called to choose, and how to move through this season with more intention and self-trust.
If you’re the midlife mom of adult children who needs some support as you navigate the life changes you can both control and not control, I can help.  I invite you to schedule a complimentary coaching call with me. Here’s the link:
Coaching Call with Terri
Thank you for investing your valuable time and energy into listening to the podcast. I’m so very grateful for you. 
If you enjoyed this episode, you can “tip the bartender” by rating and reviewing the podcast. Your review makes it easier for others to find the podcast. 
Don’t forget to hit the SUBSCRIBE button to be notified any time I pour out a new episode. 
My new book Intentional Intoxication: How To Deliberately Distill The Different Life You Desire, is available on Amazon. You can imbibe on the entire book in one, short, intentionally happier hour:
Intentional Intoxication Book
If you’re interested to know about how I can support you in overcoming the habit of escaping or chasing, I invite you to reach out to me by using the email below and we find a time to chat:
terribradwaylifecoaching@coachbradway.com
For a quick shot of your life’s current level of intoxication, I invite you to complete the 10 Questions on my Intoxication Inventory:
Intoxication Inventory

Stop Trying To Find Your Purpose

So many women feel the weight of the question: “What is my purpose?”It can feel big, vague, and quietly intimidating—like there’s a “right” answer you’re supposed to figure out.
But what if the question itself is the problem?
This episode offers a gentler, more grounded approach.
Key Shift
Instead of asking:“What is my purpose?”
Try asking:
What lets me feel a little more alive?
When do I notice feeling most like me?
Does this energize me - or does it drain or deplete me?
When do I notice feeling purposeful?
Why “Finding Your Purpose” Feels Heavy
It implies a single, fixed answer
It creates pressure to get it right
It keeps you in your head, searching and overthinking
It can make you feel behind or like you’re missing something
What It Means to Feel Purposeful
Feeling purposeful isn’t something you find once—it’s something you experience in moments.
It often shows up when you are:
Engaged
Energized (not depleted)
Curious or interested
Connected to yourself or others
Doing something that feels meaningful, even in a small way
Better Questions to Ask Yourself
What made me feel energized this week?
When did I lose track of time?
What felt simple, natural, or like “me”?
What am I drawn to lately?
Does this energize me or deplete me?
The Truth About Purpose
Purpose isn’t something you chase—it’s something you generate through how you live.
Small moments of aliveness create a life that feels meaningful.
Try This
Instead of waiting for clarity about your purpose:
Follow what feels engaging
Pay attention to your energy
Let curiosity lead before certainty
Closing Thought
You don’t need to figure out your entire purpose to create a life that feels deeply meaningful.
Start with what brings you to life—and let that be enough to guide your next step.
If you’re the midlife mom of adult children who needs some support as you fill your life with meaning and aliveness, I can help.  I invite you to schedule a complimentary coaching call with me. Here’s the link:
Coaching Call with Terri
Thank you for investing your valuable time and energy into listening to the podcast. I’m so very grateful for you. 
If you enjoyed this episode, you can “tip the bartender” by rating and reviewing the podcast. Your review makes it easier for others to find the podcast. 
Don’t forget to hit the SUBSCRIBE button to be notified any time I pour out a new episode. 
My new book Intentional Intoxication: How To Deliberately Distill The Different Life You Desire, is available on Amazon. You can imbibe on the entire book in one, short, intentionally happier hour:
Intentional Intoxication Book
If you’re interested to know about how I can support you in overcoming the habit of escaping or chasing, I invite you to reach out to me by using the email below and we find a time to chat:
terribradwaylifecoaching@coachbradway.com
For a quick shot of your life’s current level of intoxication, I invite you to complete the 10 Questions on my Intoxication Inventory:
Intoxication Inventory

What Emotions To Expect After Your Kids Leave

In this episode, we talk about the three emotional stages many women move through when their children leave home: Grief, Relief, and Joy.
These stages don’t always happen in a straight line. You may feel two of them at the same time, or circle back to one when holidays, visits, or life transitions happen. But recognizing where you are can bring a lot of clarity.
1. Grief: Letting Go of a Season
The first stage many women experience is grief. This isn’t just missing your children—it’s the quiet realization that a whole era of your life has ended.
You might notice:
What you might be feeling
A deep ache or heaviness in the house
Sudden waves of sadness at unexpected times
Emotional reactions to ordinary things (empty bedrooms, quiet mornings, fewer grocery bags)
What you might be doing
Looking through old photos
Replaying memories of school years, holidays, and routines
Talking about your kids a lot
Wondering where your purpose fits now
What you might not be doing
Feeling motivated to start something new
Making big life plans
Feeling excited about the extra time yet
This stage is about honoring what mattered. That chapter of life was real, meaningful, and beautiful.
2. Relief: Space Opens Up
Relief is the stage that many women feel guilty admitting. But it’s incredibly common.
After years of caregiving, logistics, and responsibility, there is suddenly… space.
What you might be feeling
Lighter
More relaxed in your own home
Curious about what you want again
Occasionally guilty for enjoying the quiet
What you might be doing
Sleeping in or going to bed earlier
Cooking simpler meals (or not cooking at all)
Leaving the house without coordinating schedules
Enjoying spontaneous plans
What you might not be doing
Constantly thinking about what everyone else needs
Running a tightly structured household
Managing everyone else’s emotions
Relief isn’t selfish. It’s the nervous system finally exhaling after years of responsibility.
3. Joy: Rediscovering Yourself
Joy comes when the empty nest starts to feel less like a loss and more like an opening.
This is where women begin reconnecting with parts of themselves that were set aside for years.
What you might be feeling
A sense of possibility
Excitement about creating something new
Confidence in this stage of life
Gratitude for both the past and the present
What you might be doing
Exploring hobbies or interests again
Rearranging or reimagining your home
Starting creative projects or new work
Investing more deeply in friendships or community
What you might not be doing
Defining yourself only as a parent
Waiting for your children’s lives to dictate your own
Feeling like the best part of life is behind you
Joy in the empty nest isn’t about replacing your children. It’s about reclaiming yourself.
A Final Thought
Most women move through all three stages at different times.
You might feel grief when your child leaves after a visit.Relief on a quiet Sunday morning.Joy when you realize your life still holds so much possibility.
None of these feelings are wrong.
They’re simply part of the emotional landscape of the empty nest.
 
If you’re the mother of adult children who needs some help navigating these emotional stages, I can help.  I invite you to schedule a complimentary coaching call with me. Here’s the link:
Coaching Call with Terri
I’m thrilled to announce my new in-person class:
“Design Your Second Season – Your Kids Are Grown. Now it’s time to rediscover YOU.”
Design Your Second Season is a 5-week small-group class where moms of adult children come together to reflect, reconnect with who they are now, and begin shaping a meaningful and fulfilling next chapter.
In this class, you’ll gain: • Clarity about who you are now in this stage of life • A vision for what you want your next chapter to look like • Confidence in your gifts and talents • A weekly rhythm that supports what matters most to you
The class is designed to be both thoughtful and practical—giving you space to reflect while also helping you take meaningful steps forward.
Details: Wednesdays, March 25 – April 22 6:00–7:30 PM Kairos Learning Solutions 836 S. Main Street, Salinas
Class size is limited to keep the experience personal and engaging.

Announcing An In-Person Class for Moms of Adult Children!

I’m thrilled to announce my new in-person class:
“Design Your Second Season – Your Kids Are Grown. Now it’s time to rediscover YOU.”
Design Your Second Season is a 5-week small-group class where moms of adult children come together to reflect, reconnect with who they are now, and begin shaping a meaningful and fulfilling next chapter.
In this class, you’ll gain: • Clarity about who you are now in this stage of life • A vision for what you want your next chapter to look like • Confidence in your gifts and talents • A weekly rhythm that supports what matters most to you
The class is designed to be both thoughtful and practical—giving you space to reflect while also helping you take meaningful steps forward.
Details: Wednesdays, March 25 – April 22 6:00–7:30 PM Kairos Learning Solutions 836 S. Main Street, Salinas
Class size is limited to keep the experience personal and engaging.
If you’re the mother of adult children who can use some support as you design your second seasion, I can help.  I invite you to schedule a complimentary coaching call with me. Here’s the link:
Coaching Call with Terri
Thank you for investing your valuable time and energy into listening to the podcast. I’m so very grateful for you. 
If you enjoyed this episode, you can “tip the bartender” by rating and reviewing the podcast. Your review makes it easier for others to find the podcast. 
Don’t forget to hit the SUBSCRIBE button to be notified any time I pour out a new episode. 
My new book Intentional Intoxication: How To Deliberately Distill The Different Life You Desire, is available on Amazon. You can imbibe on the entire book in one, short, intentionally happier hour:
Intentional Intoxication Book
If you’re interested to know about how I can support you in overcoming the habit of escaping or chasing, I invite you to reach out to me by using the email below and we find a time to chat:
terribradwaylifecoaching@coachbradway.com
For a quick shot of your life’s current level of intoxication, I invite you to complete the 10 Questions on my Intoxication Inventory:
Intoxication Inventory

What Are You Still Trying to Prove?

Once the active years of motherhood have passed, we may find ourselves still trying to prove to or convince others that we are valuable and worthy. 
Proving is similar to people-pleasing in which we’re “lying” to others in order to manage how they think or feel about us. 
If you’re the mother of adult children who finds herself striving to prove that you’re still valuable and worthy, I can help.  I invite you to schedule a complimentary coaching call with me. Here’s the link:
Coaching Call with Terri
Thank you for investing your valuable time and energy into listening to the podcast. I’m so very grateful for you. 
If you enjoyed this episode, you can “tip the bartender” by rating and reviewing the podcast. Your review makes it easier for others to find the podcast. 
Don’t forget to hit the SUBSCRIBE button to be notified any time I pour out a new episode. 
My new book Intentional Intoxication: How To Deliberately Distill The Different Life You Desire, is available on Amazon. You can imbibe on the entire book in one, short, intentionally happier hour:
Intentional Intoxication Book
If you’re interested to know about how I can support you in overcoming the habit of escaping or chasing, I invite you to reach out to me by using the email below and we find a time to chat:
terribradwaylifecoaching@coachbradway.com
For a quick shot of your life’s current level of intoxication, I invite you to complete the 10 Questions on my Intoxication Inventory:
Intoxication Inventory

How To Live In Hope in the Second Season

It’s not uncommon for moms of adult children in the second half of life to get stuck in fear - rather than managing fear while living in hope. 
Courtesy of author Kate Swobota, “the fear chain/hope chain” exercise will help you uncover the limiting beliefs beneath your fears so that you can intentionally focus on what you hope will happen instead. 
For example:
“If I’m not needed by my adult children, I’m afraid that I won’t spend time with them.”
“If I don’t spend time with them, I’m afraid that I’ll feel disconnected from them.”
“If I feel disconnected from them, I’m afraid that I won’t matter to them any more.”
“If I don’t matter to them any more, I’m afraid that I’ll be abandoned.”
“If I’m abandoned, I’m afraid that I’ll always be alone.”
 
So my real fearful belief is that being “needed” prevents me from being alone. 
Now, we flip it. 
“If I’m not needed by my adult children, I HOPE that they’ll be strong and independent.”
“If they are strong and independent, I hope that they’ll create lives they truly love.”
“If they create lives they truly love, I hope that I’ll be an important part of those lives.”
“If I’m an important part of their lives, I hope that we’ll remain deeply connected.”
I’m curious to know - what did you uncover?
If you’re the mother of adult children who finds herself stuck in fear, rather than living in hope, I can help.  I invite you to schedule a complimentary coaching call with me. Here’s the link:
Coaching Call with Terri
Thank you for investing your valuable time and energy into listening to the podcast. I’m so very grateful for you. 
If you enjoyed this episode, you can “tip the bartender” by rating and reviewing the podcast. Your review makes it easier for others to find the podcast. 
Don’t forget to hit the SUBSCRIBE button to be notified any time I pour out a new episode. 
My new book Intentional Intoxication: How To Deliberately Distill The Different Life You Desire, is available on Amazon. You can imbibe on the entire book in one, short, intentionally happier hour:
Intentional Intoxication Book
If you’re interested to know about how I can support you in overcoming the habit of escaping or chasing, I invite you to reach out to me by using the email below and we find a time to chat:
terribradwaylifecoaching@coachbradway.com
For a quick shot of your life’s current level of intoxication, I invite you to complete the 10 Questions on my Intoxication Inventory:
Intoxication Inventory

What If You Don't Want What You Think You Should?

A simple coaching prompt stopped me in my tracks:
“Actually, I don’t want to ______ because…”
In this episode, we explore why so many of us chase goals we inherited—from culture, expectations, or a former version of ourselves—and how quiet resistance can be a form of wisdom.
This conversation is for you if you’ve been feeling oddly unmotivated, braced around certain “shoulds,” or unsure why a goal no longer fits.
You don’t need a new goal yet.Sometimes clarity begins with naming what you no longer want.
If you’re the mother of adult children who might love some support as you clarify what you want or don’t want in the second season of life, I can help.  I invite you to schedule a complimentary coaching call with me. Here’s the link:
Coaching Call with Terri
 
Thank you for investing your valuable time and energy into listening to the podcast. I’m so very grateful for you. 
If you enjoyed this episode, you can “tip the bartender” by rating and reviewing the podcast. Your review makes it easier for others to find the podcast. 
Don’t forget to hit the SUBSCRIBE button to be notified any time I pour out a new episode. 
My new book Intentional Intoxication: How To Deliberately Distill The Different Life You Desire, is available on Amazon. You can imbibe on the entire book in one, short, intentionally happier hour:
Intentional Intoxication Book
If you’re interested to know about how I can support you in overcoming the habit of escaping or chasing, I invite you to reach out to me by using the email below and we find a time to chat:
terribradwaylifecoaching@coachbradway.com
For a quick shot of your life’s current level of intoxication, I invite you to complete the 10 Questions on my Intoxication Inventory:
Intoxication Inventory

Are You a Mom Stuck in Explanations?

In the empty nest, long-standing explanations for why life can’t change often get louder. These stories once protected us—but now they may be quietly limiting our sense of agency, vitality, and connection.
1. The Pattern: Living in Explanation Mode
Constant reasons why change isn’t possible
Weight, marriage, energy, relationships, timing
Not laziness—protection
Explanations reduce risk, disappointment, and grief
“If it’s not my fault, I don’t have to risk failing… but I also don’t get to feel my power.”
2. Why This Shows Up in the Empty Nest
Fewer external demands
More time + space = more self-awareness
Old coping strategies resurface
Identity built on caretaking starts to loosen
3. The Hidden Cost
Stagnation 
Quiet resentment or numbness
Others feel fatigued or disengage
Conversations circle, but nothing opens
4. The Shift: From Explaining to Experimenting
Not “take responsibility”
Try small experiments
“What’s one thing I could try?”
“What feels even slightly enlivening?”
“What if curiosity replaced justification?”
5. For the Spouse, Friend, or Adult Child
What doesn’t help
Arguing with the explanation
Fixing or convincing
What helps
Reflect without rescuing: “That sounds heavy.”
Name choice gently: “I wonder what you want.”
Set boundaries when needed
“Loving someone doesn’t mean living inside their stuckness.”
6. Closing Reframe
Explanations are often fear in disguise
“Who am I when I no longer need a reason to stay the same?”
If you’re the mother of adult children who feels stuck in excuses or explanations, I can help you easily get unstuck.  I invite you to schedule a complimentary coaching call with me. Here’s the link:
Coaching Call with Terri
 
Thank you for investing your valuable time and energy into listening to the podcast. I’m so very grateful for you. 
If you enjoyed this episode, you can “tip the bartender” by rating and reviewing the podcast. Your review makes it easier for others to find the podcast. 
Don’t forget to hit the SUBSCRIBE button to be notified any time I pour out a new episode. 
My new book Intentional Intoxication: How To Deliberately Distill The Different Life You Desire, is available on Amazon. You can imbibe on the entire book in one, short, intentionally happier hour:
Intentional Intoxication Book
If you’re interested to know about how I can support you in overcoming the habit of escaping or chasing, I invite you to reach out to me by using the email below and we find a time to chat:
terribradwaylifecoaching@coachbradway.com
For a quick shot of your life’s current level of intoxication, I invite you to complete the 10 Questions on my Intoxication Inventory:
Intoxication Inventory

Empty Nesting: What's Actually Happening vs. The Story We're Telling

What if some of the hardest parts of empty nesting aren’t the circumstances themselves—but the stories our nervous system tells about them?
In this episode, we explore the difference between real empty nest changes and the meaning we attach to them when we’re unsettled or dysregulated. Drawing from ADHD and nervous system concepts, we look at why grief and anxiety can surface even when nothing is “wrong,” and how separating fact from story can restore clarity and agency.
If you’re the mother of adult children who might love some support as you identify and challenge your own “stories” about this stage, I can help you easily get unstuck.  I invite you to schedule a complimentary coaching call with me. Here’s the link:
Coaching Call with Terri
 
Thank you for investing your valuable time and energy into listening to the podcast. I’m so very grateful for you. 
If you enjoyed this episode, you can “tip the bartender” by rating and reviewing the podcast. Your review makes it easier for others to find the podcast. 
Don’t forget to hit the SUBSCRIBE button to be notified any time I pour out a new episode. 
My new book Intentional Intoxication: How To Deliberately Distill The Different Life You Desire, is available on Amazon. You can imbibe on the entire book in one, short, intentionally happier hour:
Intentional Intoxication Book
If you’re interested to know about how I can support you in overcoming the habit of escaping or chasing, I invite you to reach out to me by using the email below and we find a time to chat:
terribradwaylifecoaching@coachbradway.com
For a quick shot of your life’s current level of intoxication, I invite you to complete the 10 Questions on my Intoxication Inventory:
Intoxication Inventory

How To Habit As the Mom of Adult Children

Episode Description:
If your habits haven’t been what you wanted them to be so far in 2026, here’s a quick habit refresh for your consideration:
Identify whether you are an “abstainer” or a “moderator”. In her book, Better Than Before, author Gretchen Rubin explains:
“For abstainers, it’s easier to say no to everything than to say no to some things… moderators do better when they indulge in moderation, because occasional indulgence heightens their pleasure and strengthens their resolve.”
When it comes to changing habits, is it easier for you to stop the habit altogether, or to aim to do the habit in smaller quantities or less frequently?
When you’re trying to start a new habit, is it easier to practice the new habit every single day for a very short period of time (abstain from missing a day) or to practice the habit a few times a week (moderately)?
According to James Clear in Atomic Habits:
“We don’t rise to the level of our goals - we fall to the level of our systems.”
In order to create a “system”, simply grab a piece of paper and write down the small, specific steps you’ll take in order. 
For example, here’s my “daily walk system”:
At 4:45, put on shoes and coat. 
Grab airpods and phone. 
Leave the house. 
Walk around the neighborhood. 
The steps are clear and simple. When 4:45 hits, I don’t have to make a decision. I simply have to follow the steps. 
If you’re trying to start a habit, it’s helpful to attach a “feeling state” to the new habit. For example, I’ll get the benefit of feeling energized if I walk for 15 minutes. 
If you’re trying to stop a habit that no longer serves you, instead of focusing on what the habit is costing you, identify the immediate yet temporary benefit you get from the habit. For example, drinking while you make dinner might be giving you an escape from feeling restless or bored. Substitute a quick walk (moves the restless energy) and a Netflix show (solves for boredom) and you’re still getting the “benefit” without the long-term costs. 
In Atomic Habits, James Clear also teaches that the best way to start and a sustain a new habit is to attach a valued identity to the habit or system:
“The most effective way to change your habits is to focus not on what you want to achieve, but on who you wish to become.”
Everytime I walk, write, cook, or meet with a client, I am showing up as an “exerciser”, “author”, “foodie”, or “coach”. These identities are important to me and I want to embody them as often as possible. 
On the habit front, here are my favorite books for your consideration:
Atomic Habits by James Clear. 
Better Than Before by Gretchen Rubin. 
Finish: Give Yourself the Gift of Done by Jon Acuff
If you know you could use some support as you stop or start new habits this year as the mother of adult children, you can schedule a complimentary coaching call with me. Here’s the link:
Coaching Call with Terri
 
Thank you for investing your valuable time and energy into listening to the podcast. I’m so very grateful for you. 
If you enjoyed this episode, you can “tip the bartender” by rating and reviewing the podcast. Your review makes it easier for others to find the podcast. 
Don’t forget to hit the SUBSCRIBE button to be notified any time I pour out a new episode. 
My new book Intentional Intoxication: How To Deliberately Distill The Different Life You Desire, is available on Amazon. You can imbibe on the entire book in one, short, intentionally happier hour:
Intentional Intoxication Book
If you’re interested to know about how I can support you in overcoming the habit of escaping or chasing, I invite you to reach out to me by using the email below and we find a time to chat:
terribradwaylifecoaching@coachbradway.com
For a quick shot of your life’s current level of intoxication, I invite you to complete the 10 Questions on my Intoxication Inventory:
Intoxication Inventory